Kick butt Wednesday

What a busy, wonderful day!

The most wonderful thing that happened today was I changed my name! Finally got around to it! It was so exciting! I don't even have my new SSC yet, because it will come in the mail in about a week. Then I can go to the DMV and do all the other changes. It was such a good feeling to do it! I am now Andrea Helen Brokish! Woo hoo!

For breakfast, I whipped up a delicious sugar-free vanilla latte with extra foam. Check out our kick-ass coffee "area"! I love it. I also had a small serving of granola with milk.

I did my strength routine while watching The Biggest Loser. I love that show - I cry almost every episode. I'm so emotional!

I was running errands all over the place today, so for lunch, I grabbed a chipotle vegetarian fajita burrito. Usually I only eat half, but I wolfed the whole thing down! :-O

I went to Lowe's and bought new pots - our herbs are growing out of their's! And new organic potting soil.

I went to Target and bought flat, rectangle tupperware for ice cream, some AWESOME clothes including a new dress and new kick-ass jeans, and cute earrings. By the end of that I was exhausted (shopping always wipes me out), but I still made it to the health food store to stock up on a bunch of stuff. I saved 10 bucks with my coupon! (I love coupons!)

Now I am so tired - I'm going to chill out for awhile, before working on some other stuff! I still would like to hem my curtain and finishing cleaning the bathroom, among other things.

For "dinner", I ate a larabar, a primal strip, and (gasp!) FOUR tofutti cutie ice cream sandwichs. They are about 1/2 of a real ice cream sandwich, but they are still 130 calories! Goodness.

I may start counting my calories in addition to blogging what I eat. I have a strong feeling I eat a lot of calories per day - too many. We shall see.

Here's to a great evening!

Kevy comes home tonight (late) and I can't fricken wait!

I've been slacking on the photos, but they seem so boring when it's stuff I eat all the time! I'll get back on it tomorrow. It's much more interesting that way, and helps me not to overeat.

Today is going pretty well... didn't get that much done, but bits and pieces here and there.

Breakfast: sugar-free vanilla latte, tiny scoop of granola and milk

Lunch: guacamole and chips (1 avocado)

Snack: spoon of sunflower butter; (later) 2 pancakes dipped in a bit of maple syrup

Dinner: veggie burger on bun with dab of mayo and ketchup, with onions; 2 glasses of juice

I talked to Meredith today. It was good to catch up. She's going to New Zealand in a couple weeks for 8 1/2 months!

I cleaned the entire extra bathroom - woo hoo! Gettin' ready for Ab and Pres to come - can't wait! Tomorrow I'm going to run a ton of errands - yay!

Monday

Well, I haven't blogged at all today. My food seemed slightly boring. I've already posted photos of all of it before.

Breakfast: Greek yogurt with a couple handfuls of granola; latte with 1/2 tbsp of hazelnut syrup
Snack: Lemon Larabar
Lunch: 2 avocados and salsa with chips (woah!)
Dinner: leftover coconut curry tofu with white rice
Snack: large helping cookie dough

Since I was so sore from surfing, I only did 15 min of eagle poses in yoga, but man that felt good. Tomorrow I'm going to sweat it out though - I need to cut back on this cookie dough! I've been craving it - could be the time of the month... I don't know.

Tonight I'm not feel too well emotionally because Kev is in Dallas and it's always weird the first night/day he's gone. I affirm that tomorrow I will wake up happier and ready to take on the day! I will also get out of the house...that helps too.

Abbey and Preston are coming to visit on Friday for nearly a week. There's so much to do before they arrive, I hope I can get it all done! :)

Surfing

Surfing was quite the experience. We were taught by a pretty cool hippie-ish guy who was super outgoing and super relaxed (he had us wait about a half hour while he talked to people and got a yerba matte and then he gave us free tshirts and water bottles). He talked for most of the lesson, but the actual surfing part was relatively short. We learned a lot, though we wished he would have stayed out with us longer. I was able to surf some small ones with him steadying the surf board behind me, but it was so damn hard. It requires so many muscles. It's great though...the feeling when you're getting up on the board and the water is rushing beside your board and you're such floating and it's pulling you.... ahhhh... very nice.

We hope to sorta get into surfing - not sure yet if we'll be super surfers one day, but we will start with a long board to share between us and see where it goes. I still love boogie boarding, though. It's a total different experience, which I didn't expect. I thought they'd be relatively the same feeling. But it's totally different. Let's just say I'm pretty sure I'll never be really scared on a boogie board again. A surfboard is so intense - it can give someone a gash in the head so bad you need stitches. Hope that never happens to me!

At the end of the day, we were so wiped. My knees hurt like hell from landing in the shallow water so many times right on them. Some skin on my toe rubbed off while on the board. And I stepped on something super sharp and cut my skin. My muscles are aching, and that's just tonight. I bet they'll hurt more tomorrow. But, it was worth it. I know you have to wipe out a thousand times before you really get it right, so we're on our way. :)

We were famished after surfing, because we only ate a larabar (each) for lunch. We went to our favorite Thai place in Carpinteria, and ate a TON of food. I got Pad Thai Tofu, Kev got Coconut Mushroom Soup (we had a soup like that on our honeymoon and it was divine), and we shared a fried noodle tofu appetizer. Yum! We ate every last drop.

We came home and were too tired to do anything so we've just been watching Friends all evening. Kev realized he has to pack a bag for his trip so he's doing that and I'm going to watch a bit of Grey's Anatomy before we both hit the sheets. We will sleep welllll tonight. What a day! It was an unforgettable day. I like days like that.

Happy Sunday!

Feelin' good.

For dinner last night we had leftovers. I had vegetable korma (the last of it!) with rice and a pita with Earth Balance and garlic on top. I also had two and a half glasses of wine! :-o Then Kev and I went on a video game spree, playing all of our fun video games! He's so much better than me, but it's fun anyway. Throughout that, we had the rest of our ice cream and then Kev made "shots" called b52's. I put shots in quotes because they're so sweet! Made with Kahlua, Bailey's, and Amaretto. Yum! Then we watched Friend's while I knitted and Kev worked out and worked on investing stuff. I had a couple spoonfuls of cookie dough! Man, it's not the lowest-calorie weekend, I tell ya.

This morning, I was in the mood for something "weird", so I looked up weird pancakes and got this recipe: http://www.recipezaar.com/Peters-Weird-but-Addictive-Railroader-Pancakes-303020 They looked normal, but they were super dense. (lack of baking powder) I had 2 and a couple bites of Kev's, with a tiny bit of Earth Balance and warm maple syrup. Yum!

Today we have our first ever SURF LESSON! I'm excited, but a little nervous too. I hope I can get up on my surfboard! I'm sure it will be a blast. Kev's leaving Monday evening for business in Dallas for 2.5 days. :( I'm more sad about that than I thought I'd be, but more solitude is usually good for me, as we saw last time.

I love weekends!

My hubby and I had an awesome Friday night. We got Super Smash Bros. for our Nintendo in the mail so we played around with it for awhile while we made our ice cream and stuck it in the freezer. I had my 'aperatif' of a glass of Pinot Grigio, which was surprisingly dry.

Then Kev made veggie burgers, but I decided to only have a half, because I wanted to save calories for the ice cream! The veggie burgers had avocado and onions, and were fabulous, as always when Kev makes them. Plus, it was my favorite kind of burger: Amy's Quarter Pounders.

The ice cream was, one word, INTENSE. It was very fatty, and thus, delicious. The oatmeal cookie chunks in it were divine! I could have eaten it all night long. In fact, I had one more bite after finishing my rather large serving!

This morning, Kev made French toast! It was perfect, because I didn't want granola but I didn't want waffles or pancakes either, and Kev didn't want eggs. Turns out French toast is exactly what I was craving. I had 2 1/2 slices with a little bit of maple syrup on top.

Today Kev and I went on a big shopping spree: garage sales (looking for a bookcase, no luck), Target (luck with a bunch of needed odds and ends), Pier 1 (a BEAUTIFUL candle holder I saw in an ad), Michael's (scrapbook stuff galore!!! made me sooo happy), and B&N (Kev took notes on investing and I looked at teaching books). For lunch (not pictured), we had a Tomato Caprese sandwich with potato chips. It was yummy: sundried tomatoes, cheese, and pesto on Asagio (sp?) bread.

I'm not in the mood to exercise, though it would probably make me feel good. I might do a 20-min walk in a bit while reading my new Self magazine!

Lunch

I ate a little too much food for lunch, but oh well. I had the leftover Vegetable Korma, with a pita topped with a clove of garlic and a little Earth Balance. Then, I caved and ate a large helping of cookie dough. Man, it's the dough that gets me - I think I could stand resisting actual cookies. Oh well. I'll have a super small helping of ice cream tonight and then none for awhile... I think I might have Chipotle for dinner and just eat half. We'll see.

I'm having a peaceful day. I edited Katie's (my lil sister-in-law) French homework which was fun, called my best friend Meredith (we've been playing phone tag for literally months, and didn't get in touch with her again), and now I'm here - about to upload facebook photos and visually revisit my wedding!

I'm also hoping to go through some "office" ish stuff on the desk (I cleaned it off though!) and write some thank-you notes. AND write in my journal. :)

Great Day

Yesterday was a great day! Thank goodness for healing.

I cleaned up the house a bunch before jumping in the shower and then heading out to run errands. I got a new library card, a pot for our tomato plant, and went to the health food store.

When I got home, I made oatmeal cookies because Kev and I planned to try out our new ice cream maker by making oatmeal cookie ice cream!

I ate a TON of the dough! It was some of the best cookie dough ever! After putting the dough in the fridge to chill, I started on dinner: Coconut Curry Tofu from allrecipes.com. By the time I finished, we had put in one batch of cookies, and they turned out well! The first batch was a tad overcooked, but the second was juuuuuusssst right.

Since I was full on cookie dough (hehe) I had a very small helping of dinner. It was pretty good, but it needs more spices: more chili sauce, and more soy sauce, I think. We ate dinner on the patio - it was a beautiful night with a fantastic sunset.

During dinner, we had our ice cream maker running, but after waiting awhile, we realized it wasn't freezing it enough. I read the instructions and saw that we're actually supposed to freeze the freezer thing for at least 6 hours (we probably froze it 3). Bummer! We decided to stop and wait til tonight to have our ice cream. I had one more cookie! :-o

Because of that splurge, I knew I needed a sweaty workout session today. I got there early than usual (9:50 or so) and someone was on the treadmill, so I did 20 minutes on the elliptical, and then 40 minutes on the treadmill. On the elliptical, I went about a level 7 the whole time, going backward for 2 minutes every 3 minutes. On the treadmill, I went at a level 6, doing an all-out sprint every few minutes for 20-40 seconds (10 total sprints). It was fun, but my body is super tired now! I'm going to definitely need that tofu for lunch!

Oh! I forgot breakfast. I had a latte with a little sugar and triple berry crunch granola with a little Greek yogurt, vanilla flavored. Yummy!

Then, guess what I had as a snack? A sorta large helping of cookie dough! Uh oh! That's all the cookie dough I get for today! Especially because we're having ice cream tonight! I think I'll be scheduling a sweat session Saturday morning! :)

Plans for today....

Physical: insane workout

Mental: organize extra room, write thank-you notes; pick recreation stuff I want to do in our Ventura booklet thing

Emotional: call Meredith; upload wedding photos!

Spiritual: write in my journal!

Good Start

Well, today I feel great. I started the day with a small serving of scrambled eggs, juice, and coffee, though I didn't drink the coffee because I think it tasted bad (I think we didn't clean the espresso machine well enough yesterday - oops!)

Later, I had 1/2 slice of toast with sunflower seed butter on it. I love sunflower seed butter! Soon after, I was still hungry, so I ate the last bit (TINY bit) of yogurt with a spoonful of honey.

Then I started my workout! I went for a 20-min jog with sprinting bursts throughout, and then I came home and did an intense strength workout. Now I'm munching on a 'sort of' lunch - chips and salsa. I'll probably have a small serving of tortellini salad later. I've been hungry lately! Maybe yesterday was emotional eating, but today I feel great and I'm hungry. Probably time to bring on the oatmeal for breakfast.

My plan for the day...

• Clean the house! (all the dishes, wipe down counters, sweep floor, clean up living room clutter, clean up bedroom clutter/make bed, clean toilets)
• shower
• Run errands: go to library; Lowe's (2 big pots and maybe a rod for the tomato plants); go to health food store (lowfat ice cream, larabars, conditioner, 4 roma tomatoes); Starbuck's (buy syrup)
• work on an action step for teaching
• 5pm: start dinner!

I have 5 hours until I should start dinner - can I do all of this? Hmmm...

clean house - 1 hour (kitchen - 20 min, living room and bedroom - 15 min, bathroom - 25min)

shower/eat lunch - .5

errands - 2.5 hours

teaching actions - 1 hour

Let's see if I can do this!

Healing

Today, I had a major breakthough. I spent the morning watching Grey's Anatomy. Though I did get a good workout in, as posted, I felt completely unmotivated to do anything else. The problem was, though I just "wanted" to watch Grey's Anatomy, it was making me miserable. I kept thinking of all the things that I really want to do, or that I 'should' do, and getting mad at myself. Eventually, after taking a shower and getting dressed, and eating some snacks (which I think had to do with my sadness...), I called Abbey. It is absolutely incredible how much she is able to help me. She is like my therapist. Except a therapist who has known you your entire life and who loves you very much. Anyway, she helped me realize a lot of things. (don't know why this is a link!)

One, the reason why I don't want to do anything is because I am not doing what I really want to do with my life: teaching. So I get frustrated doing even things that will help me be a teacher one day (filling out applications, taking tests, etc.) because I felt angry and upset that I have to do this all over again and that it's difficult. After talking with her for awhile, I realized that I have never fully FELT what I was feeling about not being a teacher. I was sad, angry, jealous of other students in my program who've gotten jobs, and most of all, disappointed. But I've been trying to push those feelings away for so long. It is time to really let myself feel that, and then let it go.

As I began to tell Abbey how ironic it was that I started a wellness blog and then this comes up, I realized just how much it made sense: this blog, as I intended it, is about wellness in all areas of my life. Once I made that intention, issues I needed to face came up all around me.

So today, after a healing talk with Abbey, I curled up in bed and cried my eyes out. I wrote a letter to the world - an angry letter expressing my dissapointment and jealousy. Then, I meditated. I put all of the girls in my program that have jobs in a big bubble in front of me, filled it with light, and released it. Then I put all my angry and jealousy in a big bubble, filled that with light, and "blew" it away. I immediately felt a huge weight lift off my heart. True healing, and it felt amazing. I began making affirmations to myself, the biggest ones being, "I am open to receiving the miracles of the world. I am truly embracing possibility." The ones I said over and over for the next few hours? -

I AM A TEACHER. THE WORLD NEEDS ME.

After my meditation, I created. I took a photo of my old class and me, and made my vision. The photo is of my 2nd graders from student teaching, and I put a couple affirmations over their faces, simply because I want to be clear that I don't need "certain kinds" of kids - any class will do. :) The affirmations are: A class needs me. A child needs me. I am here.

By the time Kevin walked into the door, I knew big changes had happened. I am proud of myself for facing my pain and releasing it, and I'm excited to start living in the now, and focusing on the gifts of the present and preparing for my future. I'm also exciting to start increasing my confidence through positive affirmations for myself. I am a teacher; the world needs me. I am beautiful. I am sexy. I am talented. I am athletic. Over and over again. I visualize myself as the person I want to be, feeling how it would feel and truly being that person in my mind's eye. It's a powerful thing.

No more Grey's Anatomy over and over. I was using it as a distraction so I wouldn't have to face the true emotions inside of me. Now, I am open and ready. Here I am!

As for food today, I ate a lot while I was watching Grey's Anatomy. Good observations...when I don't feel good about myself, I tend to eat more. It was mostly healthy until I ate a small batch of homemade cookie dough (not pictured). Today, Kev and I ordered a vegetarian pizza from Domino's (the best pizza ever!) and I had 2.5 slices and a glass of wine. Just now, Kev made me an Amaretto Sour (he's learning to be an at-home bartender!). It's pretty good.

Dinner:

Lunch: Greek Tortellini Salad:

Snack: leftover hard boiled eggs with a dash of salt

Snack: "chicken" patty with a squirt of honey on top

Tomorrow: more actions steps, less Grey's Anatomy! More positive thinking, too :)

Walking

So I just finished a 40 minute walk where I sweated buckets! I have never really considered walking a workout, for whatever silly reason, but I'm following the Self plan, and walking is included, so I tried it. Loved it! It's great for a day when you don't want too much movement. If I belonged to a gym, I would love to watch a movie while walking. But it was great to listen to good music and walk for 40 minutes.

I've been having some trouble getting things done during the day, or rather, finding motivation. Part of me wants to sit and watch Grey's Anatomy. What did I get myself into? I shouldn't have started it, because now I always want to watch the episodes. Oh well. Life's indulgences, I guess? Maybe it's not good for me to sit in front of the computer screen all day, but I don't know... I'm not quite ready to give it up. Tomorrow, though, this is my plan. Kevin leaves at 8, so I'll only do internet (to let my food digest a bit) for 30 minutes until I begin my workout.

I'm not hungry for lunch yet, but that's probably because I ate a late breakfast. I ended up spreading Sunflower butter on 2 halves of a toasted English muffin. It was tasty!

I think I want to run some errands today.

• buy pots for plants: pointy one, tomato
• health food store: larabars, lowfat ice cream, conditioner
• change my name? I have to do research and make sure I have everything for this.

I'd also like to go to the beach and write. And call my sister. hm... what to do first?

Not hungry

Well, this morning we got to use our NEW ESPRESSO MACHINE! I am beyond thrilled. Kev made me a delicious nonfat latte with a little bit of sugar and TONS of foam! It was delicious! It was more like a cappachino, I suppose.

As Kev was making our drinks, I popped in some English muffins. To my surprise, I had a couple of bites of one of them with some coconut jam (from our honeymoon!), and was totally not hungry. Still, about an hour later, I'm not hungry. When will I get hungry? I did drink the coffee though... that could have made a difference. I'm going to have to eat something before I go work out in a bit... maybe some nut butter on those English muffins for protein...hm...

Plans for the day:

Physical: elliptical/run/stair stepper for 60 minutes (long time, but I'm gonna do it!!); 15-20 min yoga to stretch out and meditate

Mental: 5-10 thank-you notes; upload a facebook album; clean the bathrooms; knit; work on job stuff

Emotional: call Abster; work on journal

Spiritual: yoga; work on journal

Today is going to be a GRRREAAAT day!

Dinner to Dinner

Oops! Went an entire day without blogging...gotta get in the swing of updating quickly after every meal.

Here's last night's dinner - Vegetable Korma. TOO SALTY. I was bummed, cuz it had just great reviews. We think it was our curry powder that already had spice in it. Kev couldn't eat it, but I ate mine.

This morning, I had 2 heaping spoonfuls of Greek yogurt with some protein packed granola and a mini handful of strawberries. YUM!

Lunch was leftover dinner from last night. Eh. I got a sweet craving and made myself a small helping of utterly unsatisfying cookie dough. I gotta get something else for my sweet tooth. Maybe some low fat ice cream. Later I had a few pieces of dried pineapple that I forgot we had -YUM.

For dinner, I whipped up Greek Spinach Tortellini Salad. It was delish!

Lots of fresh ingredients, and I forgot how much I love tortellini.

• red wine vinegar
• olive oil
• fresh parsley from the 'garden'
• fresh oregano from the 'garden'
• cheese tortellini
• hard boiled egg on top
• 1/2 red onion
• 1 cup feta cheese

There are tons of leftovers so I'll be having this for lunch for a couple days. FINALLY, I made a dinner that I actually liked!

I also had 2 glasses of wine.

Exercise:

1 hour of hip-opening yoga = amazing. My back feels great, not to mention my hips! I LOVE YOGA! I'm so excited to get back into it. Tomorrow I'll be doing some super sweaty cardio, and maybe more yoga!

Lunch

It turns out this blog is definitely helping me. I'm so much more aware of what I'm eating for lunch - I'm even measuring!

I had a super awesome workout before lunch. 40min of running at level 6 with 10 sprints interspersed throughout. I felt great at the end!

For lunch, I had:

• 1 cup nonfat Greek yogurt with
• a handful of raspberries
• 2 tbsp honey
• Cashew cookie Larabar

It was very filling and delicious! Just want I wanted. Larabars are amazing. 210 calories (so about half the calories in my lunch), made only of cashews and dates. A little bit of sweet plus protein! Same with the yogurt. Yum!

Monday

Here's a photo of last night's DELICIOUS dinner. I gave the leftovers to my hubby today - that's how much I love him! ;)

Woke up feeling really rested today. I used a thicker pillow, and it's amazing to think this might have done the trick. I've been tight in my neck and upper back, so we'll see if this helps (along with more yoga!).

Breakfast:

Breakfast was 2 leftover pancakes with a little earth balance and maple syrup.

I've also had a few dark chocolate covered espresso beans. I took a few but Kev brought the rest to work. It's a good sweet thing for me, because I never want too many of them.

This morning I'm off to do a 40min running workout. I'm going to begin following a program for 8-lb weight loss in my Self magazine. In the workout, I'll be sweatin' it up 350 minutes per week, which is 50 minutes per day. That's quite a lot, but I'm gonna try. :) It also has a tasty-looking health plan that I might take some meals from. Plus, some great strength workouts. I'm going to buy weights on amazon this week, as long as I can get free shipping.

I forgot to mention that Kev and I made it to church this Sunday. We went to Unity of Ventura. It was itsy bitsy, but I loved the message. It really spoke to me - it was almost exactly what Abbey was telling me about creating my own reality - I don't have to buy into this "recession", California's "horrible education system state" or anything like that. Those simply don't apply to me, and I will receive what I deserve and what I desire. Only good can come to me now!

Kevin and I are going to try the Center for Spiritual Living in Ventura as well. We would like to find a place where we feel connected spiritually AND that is big enough where we might meet people our age (or roughly our age). There were a couple younger people at Unity, but it would be nice to meet more. I've never actually been to a service at a religious science church, so I'm interested to see how it goes.

Today

Physical: 40 minute run; possible yoga session

Mental: knitting, write some thank-you notes, upload some photos on facebook

Emotional: write in my journal, read a novel...(?)

Spiritual: write in my journal, meditate

Workout Schedule:

Monday: 40 minute run, yoga (?)

Tuesday: strength workout (30-40 min?)

Wednesday: 60 minute elliptical

Thursday: strength workout

Friday: 20 minute run; 60 minute yoga

Saturday: surf lesson!

Weekend Update

Well, I've dissappeared for the length of the weekend, whaddyaknow. It's been wonderful having Kevy back.

I'd planned on making a delicious dinner for myself Friday night, but when it came time, I didn't feel like cooking a big meal just for myself. So I had what I tend to have when I don't feel like making food: chips with an avacado mixed with salsa. Delish... maybe not that good for me. I'm not entirely sure.

My run on the beach was good, though very difficult. I took my shoes off because they were filling with sand, but then I had to really be careful where I stepped. I stepped on a couple things that made me ow. Oh well.

Saturday morning, I made strawberry whole wheat pancakes. Yum! I had two (with a little earth balance and maple syrup), with coffee and french vanilla soy creamer:

Kev and I went to see The Time Traveler's Wife, which was AWESOME, though very sad. It exceeded my expectations, since I had just finished the book. I was happy that Kev enjoyed it too, even though it is a love story. And we caught the first show of the day, so it was only five bucks each!

For lunch, Kev and I snacked on leftovers, though I wasn't too hungry. I had a few bites of this noodle vegetable dish I made last week:

...and some cashews....

We went boogie boarding, and then decided to get creative and make a PIZZA on our new Pizza Stone! :-D

In progress:

Before we put it in the oven:

Our sweet pizza cutter:

My handsome hubby cutting the delicious pizza:

It was FANTASTIC! It had: mozzarella cheese, spinach, roasted garlic (BEST part in opinion), mushrooms, a little bit of shallot onions, and pizza sauce on whole wheat crust. Not bad for our first time! Only mistake was that we didn't grease the pizza stone and much of the pizza was stuck! And next time we'll flatten the dough more on the edges so the toppings don't sink to middle so much. We also bought a "cloud cake" and I had three really thin slices.

Sunday's Breakfast (ok, I'm never going to wait this long to update again!)

2 toasted english muffins with coconut jam

coffee

Lunch:

1 slice leftover pizza

1/2 english muffin with emmenthaler cheese melted on top

1 large slice of cloud cake

Dinner:

Tempeh-mushroom in lager sauce = AMAZING

Finally a dish from vegetarian times that is weird but GOOD! LOVED IT! Will defnitely make it again. We made fresh mashed potatoes as well. I took a photo but don't feel like uploading it after taking so long to upload the rest.

I'm thinking of trying wordpress and seeing if the uploading photos part is easier.

Exercise:

BOOGIE BOARDING

Especially today, the waves were pulling so hard - talk about a resistance work out! Tomorrow I'll plan my workouts and food for the week!

Lunch

After my coffee, I dived into a bowl of mixed greens with "Almond Accents" (love those!) and fresh raspberries, topped with a cap-full of Newman's Own Cranberry Walnut dressing. I hate to say it, but the dressing ruined it. I seem to remember this from another salad I had, but I forgot. I don't know if it's the dressing or it's me, but my stomach doesn't like the dressing. Oh well...I downed a lot of it anyway. Tonight I'm making a tempeh-mushroom creamy dish. Mmmm!

Now it's time to hit the beach for my run!

Bouncing Back

To begin with, yesterday went so much better than the day before. Why? I have to say, I think it's because I actually did something for each one of the aspects: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. So at the end of the day, I felt much more balanced and complete. I think when Kevin leaves, it messes with me energetically. I feel really strange at first. But I'm so glad I was able to bounce back and really be ME, an individual. Solitude is a really interesting thing. Yesterday I really enjoyed it. Today I will too, though of course I'm looking forward to being with Kev again tonight!

At Barnes and Noble finishing my book, I had a soy chai with a shot of espresso and a spinach-artichoke quiche. The drink was awesome, but the quiche was not very good. It was quite buttery and not very flavorful. Should have gone with the sandwich I've had before, but it's always good to try something new. The book was amazing - really unique and well-written. It was so emotional that something about it made me feel very introspective. I had planned to work on my Sacred Journey journal there, but I got an insight and went to the beach. It was my first time going to the beach by myself, and it was really quite an incredible experience. I worked out my journal, wrote a little bit...meditated in the warm sun and cool breeze... it was very refreshing. I feel like it might be time for me to begin creative writing again. I was really into writing as a child - mostly from about 5th grade through middle school, before school got too difficult and I was writing mostly essays. I've always felt a pull toward creative writing, and I think there is a part of my soul that is yearning for it. So I'm meditating on this idea for awhile. What usually inspires me is reading. After I read a very emotional, well-written book (like The Time Traveler's Wife), I feel instantly inspired to write. So maybe this time when I don't have a full time job can be focused a little bit on writing. I will read a lot, and see what happens. The thought puts a smile on my face.

On my way to the grocery store, I finally got a hold of Gabby, my best friend, who I've been wanting to talk to for a couple of months and we've been playing phone tag forever. We talked for about two hours, and it was so nice to connect with her again. That definitely fed my soul. When I got home, I cleaned up a tiny bit, and spent the rest of the evening watching The Notebook or Grey's Anatomy and knitting. It is the beginning of fall, though you'd never know it in California, and I figured I would get back into knitting. Knitting is very meditative for me, and it was nice to do it again.

This morning I woke up having slept much better than the night before, and had a bowl of granola mixed with cherrios (we only had a tiny bit of cheerios left) with soymilk. I spent the morning in bed mostly, relaxing and watching more Grey's Anatomy (uh oh, now I might have to watch the whole series...). I pondered what I wanted to do for exercise today...I didn't really want to go anywhere, so I decided to read my Self magazine for inspiration. Man, I love that magazine! I used to read it a couple years ago, but it has gotten way better. It is more veg-friendly and more spiritual than ever before. Yay! I just got a subscription, so I'm excited about that.

After reading for awhile, I felt more inspired to leave the house, so in a little while I'm going to go run on the beach. I haven't done that yet, but yesterday when I was there, I saw so many people running, and it seems like such a nice thing to do. So I'm going to try it. First, I'm going to head to Target to buy 5 and 10 pound weights, socks, and a digital watch with a stopwatch for workouts. Since I've been less than inspired to go to more gyms in the area (which there are a lack of anyway), I want to kick it up a notch at home. There's an ok treadmill and stairstepper in my apartment complex, so I can use those too.

Right now I'm drinking a cup of coffee with a splash of french vanilla soy creamer. Lunch will be next...

Physical: run on the beach
Mental: clean the house, work on thank-you notes, upload photos to facebook
Emotional: spending time with Kev tonight
Spiritual wellness: running on the beach, figure out where to go to church this Sunday

Yesterday's lunch and dinner... today is a New Day

Some of my behavior yesterday reflects just how much this blog is going to help me face any issues I have with food. Rather than lie or beat myself down, I'm going to be plain and simple with what I ate yesterday.

After finishing the blog entry and doing a few other things, I decided to head to Barnes and Noble. When my mom was visiting, we read a large chunk of The Time Traveler's Wife together, and I bought it online a few days ago, after she left, so that I could finish it. It occurred to me, though, that it might get taken out of theaters before I got the chance to finish it, and I really want to watch it soon, so I decided to go to B&N and use it like a library. I also brought along wedding thank-you notes to work on. I spent the entire late afternoon and evening in B&N, which was actually quite enjoyable. I love the book - still haven't finished it though - and I got a bunch of thank-you notes written, which made me feel good as well. However, I decided that I wanted a treat.

I was craving a treat after I ate lunch at home, which consisted of leftover Chinese food (kung pao soy chicken), but I decided that if I was going to get a treat, I'd get it at Barnes and Noble. Upon arriving, I was delighted to see that B&N now has Pumpkin Spice Lattes, a clear sign of the end of summer (but not in California I suppose!), so I decided on that. Then I saw the pumpkin spice cheesecake. I had the urge, and bought a slice. It was extremely delicious (and rich, and filling), and coupled with the sweet pumpkin spice latte, I was on a sugar high. My body felt weird - almost drunk. I ate and drank slowly, and by 7:30pm, I went home.

When I got home I was a little lonely. The house was dark because Kev is away, and I checked each room, making sure everything was safe. I didn't really feel like doing anything, so I spent pretty much the entire night online, watching various things and surfing. For dinner, I had a few bites of a Tex-Mex corn salad Kev brought home from work. Beans, corn, avocado, cheese, lettuce.. it was tasty. Whadddyaknow, I craved sugar again before too long after. I debated doing what I used to do - which is make a tiny bit (equivalent to about 3 cookies) of cookie dough and eat it plain. Maybe that would have been the better choice, because I ended up making some kind of sugary bar dessert which turned out to be way too sweet. I ate 3 little bars, somewhat dissapointed that they didn't taste like heaven.

Today, I get to observe what I ate yesterday and contemplate reasons. I am feeling lonely, and it is strange not to be with someone that you're used to being with every single night. It makes me question my individuality. What would my life be like without Kevin? Would I sit around every night watching TV and movies? I don't know. That's what I feel like doing when he's gone. And with regards to eating... am I craving sweets to comfort emotional self? All observations....here's to making better choices next time. Craving something sweet at the coffee shop wasn't so bad...but I could have gotten something small, rather than a slice of cheesecake, which was probably 1000 calories or so, I'd be willing to bet.

Even though I finally closed my eyes around 2am last night (this morning...) I woke up a lot this morning, probably because I'm used to it, and got out of bed at about nine. I decided not to eat right away, and wait til my stomach told me I was hungry. When I was hungry, I whipped up a smoothie consisting of 20 strawberries from a local fruit stand, a few chunks of frozen pineapple, and the rest of the orange juice. Yum! I also had half of a leftover belgian waffle and dipped it in maple syrup.

Today I am going to commit myself to making healthier choices for food. It's about to be lunch time, and I'm going to have a salad with nuts. I'm going to head to B&N to finish the book, and when I'm there, I'll order a soy chai with espresso, and no snack, at least not at first. If I get truly hungry, I will have a small snack. Not a cheesecake this time!

I just finished doing some extremely refreshing yoga. It involved lots of twists, which I feel totally awakened my tight, sore physical body. I love yoga, and I'm so excited to get back into it!!

So, for today:

Physical: yoga, making healthy eating choices
Mental: finishing more thank-you notes, playing a game
Emotional: reading The Time Traveler's Wife, maybe watching Grey's Anatomy, call Meredith and Gabby
Spiritual: writing in my journal

Here we go!

Breakfast and a Run

Today, I woke up to Kev making oatmeal with dried cherries and cinnamon. MMMMM!! We added a tiny bit of soymilk and half a spoonful of brown sugar - it was some of the best oatmeal yet. I think dried cherries make it extra yummy. I also had a coffee with soy milk and two spoonfuls of raw sugar.

After saying goodbye to Kev (he's leaving for two days on business! :( ), I spent some time on faceyworld and my other usual websites before putting on the workout clothes and heading out for a run! I ran for about 35 minutes with a few short walks here and there. I started at about 9:15 and it was already getting hot. I hope I didn't get a sunburn on my face! Next time I run outside, I'll shoot for 8:45.

I'm already getting hungry, (it's 11:12am), so I'm going to prolong it by jumping in the shower and getting ready for the day. Then I'll have some lunch!

P.S. I'm definitely going to start taking photos of my food to make this more fun! But unfortunately, Kev took my camera on his trip, so we'll see if I can find his. Otherwise, it'll wait a couple days.

I've been contemplating starting a blog for a long time, and today is the day I will begin. I see this blog as a tool to help wellness flourish in all areas of my life: physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. I'm experiencing a time of my life in which I don't have a full time job, as I am waiting to be hired as a teacher. I'm beginning to substitute teach, though of course this is only part time. I have long felt the urge to begin taking care of myself more fully, and to become more aware of how I am treating myself. To begin with, PHYSICAL.

My tastes lean towards sweet, and I have been "addicted" to sugar for many, many years. I want my relationship with food to be more balanced. Rather than restrict myself completely of sweets, I want to learn to be able to have a normal sized portion (or small portion) of sweets per day. In the past, what seemed to happen while dieting is what happens to many people trying to lose weight: I completely stopped my sweets intake, made a mistake, and then overate. For example, "I'll just have one piece of cake. Well, I already screwed my diet over, I'll just have one more." And the cycle continued like that. After overeating, I felt intensely bad about myself, and therefore, turned to more sweets to "boost" my mood (which of course, doesn't work long term). I've never been really overweight, but I usually hover around 150 pounds. Before my wedding, I got down to about 143, and felt awesome. My ultimate goal would be to hover around 138 at all times. More importantly, I want to feel really confident about my body. When I feel confident, it spreads throughout my life. I also want to eat foods that are energizing, and that make my body jump for joy, rather than slump on the couch. In this blog, I will record the food I eat each day, and this will force me to become more aware of what I'm eating and come face to face with any habits that I have been hiding from or denying.

I will also record any exercise I do each day. At the beginning of each week, I will roughly plan out my exercise for the week. This will help me actually get up and DO it, which is sometimes hard for me. I'm also going to vary my exercise: yoga, running, stair stepper, ellyptical, bike rides, boogie boarding, learning to surf, walks and runs with my husband - anything active. In this way, I will keep my body and my brain excited about exercising and committed.

I'm also going to try to do something each day to support my MENTAL, EMOTIONAL, and SPIRITUAL wellness. These could be any number of things...

Mental wellness: paying bills on time, organizing my house, searching for jobs and doing everything I can to help my journey as a teacher, cleaning the house, writing thank-you notes, doing a puzzle, reading a book, scrapbooking, knitting, making candles, cooking, exercising, writing this blog!, playing a game, and many more....

Emotional wellness: calling my friends or family, writing in my journal, reading a spiritual book, doing something nice for Kevin (my husband) or planning a special date, being creative (painting, scrapbooking, making gifts), doing yoga, watching an emotive movie, and many more...

Spiritual wellness: writing in my journal, choosing angel cards, talking with Abbey, creating a vision board, goal-making, researching spiritual groups or churches, attending groups or church, hiking, walking on the ocean, early morning walks/hikes, donating to various groups, volunteering, meditating, and many more...

Wow, all of those things I listed sound like so much fun... I can't wait to get started! Today, I kick off my conscious wellness. I thank myself for this commitment, my support system, and Spirit. Off I go!